dang son

God is serious business sometimes. shoot. He's not always rainbows and butterflies!! heck, more often than not he means business. serious business.

Jeremiah 49:16 "The terror you inspire and the pride of your heart have deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rocks, who occupy the heights of the hill. Though you build your nest as high as the eagle's, from there I will bring you down," declares the LORD"

GOD WILL BRING YOU DOWN. like for real. think about that! God, the most powerful being, will bring you down. down. not smack you and set your straight. bring you DOWN.

yikes. we better start really thinking about what we are doing, or not doing for the cause of Christ.

BNB

the typical phase that leaves my mouth at least once a day.
bad news bears.

its not only a warning to myself to back up, but its a plea for you to do the same.

look at everything that is happening. is it worth it?
should you really be speaking like that? are you sure you want to do that?
you may look hardXcore to some, but to me you look pathetic.
bnb can sum up my own actions, i tend to first do what i dont want to do, then think of being a bnb and try to redirect my actions to doing what i want to do. funny how sometimes we are acting completly out of routine. routine is the hardest thing to break.
its hard to act like a good bear.

but im trying.

MTF

Some people say that Christians get married young b/c they just want to have sex, others say its cuz they know what they want in their partner... and the select few claim that Jesus has told them that this is the one. I dont really have an opinion on the matter, the point is that people get married young, and I guess I just dont get it.
Or maybe Im just more fearful than I thought I was. To MARRY someone is a big deal, espically if you are a Christian that believes that it is a vow to God that is not to be broken. So to commit to one person for the rest of your life, never to leave them, never to waver, that is terrifying to me.
You may try to comfort me and tell me that when I find that one person then its not as terriying. Perhaps my heart just needs to heal a lil more, so that it will be open to new love. I have recently learned that I now have very little trust in males. Which I suppose could add to the terrying thought of having to marry one! ha!
Reguardless, I want to be secure in who God has created me to be, and what he has created me to do, BEFORE I commit to a man for the rest of my life. I am going to keep my dreams alive and never settle for anything less than what I deserve.

you.

you scare me.
your ability to ask for trust when you still have a secret.
the entitlement to happiness you seem to think you have.
you are blind to the wake you leave.
or do you see and not care?
are you being honest with you?
you tend to ruin me.

but I AM you.
and you ARE me.

perhaps two of a kind.
perhaps one person.

perhaps both.

uni?

i have always said that school was not for me, and while i never thought that i would succeed in university, a friend of mine has encouraged me otherwise.
it didnt take much, a simple "i truly think that you would excel in uni if only you found a program you were interested in"
unbenounced to Geo Joe, that sparked something inside of me.... ive been searching online for a program i would be interested in that would go with my calling to be a missionary...
well folks, i think ive found it!!!

there are only two downsides to this idea, its in my hometown... and its four years of SCHOOL!