Double Edged Sword

it takes only a moment to shatter a life

disorient an entire belief

only a single misguided thought

your gift of speech has torn me

do you realize?

everything has changed

never to be quite the same

any bad day reminds me

will time heal?

i have no option but to believe

it has to

undecided

i want to move where you lead

take a chance and fall in your grace

be reminded of your mercy

then i see her laying in the mud

see the agnony in her eyes

hear her voice calling for freedom

frozen with doubt

will change ever come

is there hope or should i just stay

i want to move where you lead

take a chance and fall in your grace

be reminded of your mercy

Your words ring loud

Be on your guard

stand firm in the faith

be men of courage

be strong

leave me alone

the puddle grows cold
sweet relief to feel the blood drain
passing the point of understanding
oh, to soak into my misery's pond
to become a shadow
a whisper
of myself

there is no escape from this
no escape from my shame
i deserve no sympathy
but the pain of your visits means
i'm alive

haircut

i have no fear with scissors
no fear of the typical
no hestiation in love
but my heart stops
my lips seal shut
every ounce of self tramatized
just by hearing your name.

giving up
gave up
the world still spinning
sunrise and sunset
life moves
changes
but the pain remains

reply

brakes seized

hidden tears

mute screams

whispered prayers

wonder

confusion

emptiness

anger

reply

baludu

pain of disbelief
confusion
and respect
rotting pit inside

no glourious mountain
or raging sea
can speak solace

insomnia creeps
depression edges

Family

wishing i was home
missing my loud and insane family
wanting to wake up without the occean
new family grows by the day
but nothing with satisfy like blood